I am, seriously, going to bury a laminated copy somewhere on my land. And have smaller amounts also in my hidden home safe. (I have a visible decoy safe bought very cheap from Cina with some crap in it).
and now the internet knows all these things
Hahahahahaha... I can see it now.
Criminal: "Hey Arriemoller, your valuables or your life."
Arriemoller: "Please, please, no, no, no.. don't take my life... .. o.k. I will take you to my safe. Here it is ... it is be called safe."
Criminal: "Is this the "decoy safe" or the real one?"
Arriemoller: "Of course this is the real safe. I want you to have all my valuables and not my life."
Criminal: "O.k. i thought that I read somewhere...... "
Arriemoller interrupts criminal, and: "you probably getting me mixed up with someone else, and you know peeps say all kinds of shit on the interwebs... Of course that is the real safe with real bitcoins and other cryptos available and even title to my yacht that I acquired from the appreciation of my many ETHs. Surely, I have no other safes in any of these places nor on my yacht.. and you can take the yacht, too."
Criminal: "O.k. Your story seems quite plausible, and I have a high level of confidence that you are disclosing everything, and for that reason, I am even gonna leave you with your yacht and I will just take the total value of your crypto that is in this safe, which happens to be .003146BTC and 25.384 ETH, and that should be enough for me anyhow, since I am a modest kind of criminal, and I have modest material needs, too. Thank you very much, Arriemoller, you have been amongst the most cooperative of my crypto targets, and I thank you for making this whole robbing process easier for me."
Arriemoller and Criminal do a "man hug" because no gay here, and then each goes their separate ways, which means the criminal leaves.


I do NOT have ETH, but I do have a loaded pistol in a safe. Please let the robbers make me open that safe.
that makes this hypothetical even more fun.


Arriemoller: "Criminal, could you just stand right here, while I open my real safe, it is a spot that I reserve for criminals, and it just happens to be a trap, but never mind that."
Criminal: "Oh, O.k. I am so glad that you thought this through in advance. You know most of my victims have no idea, and they have accidents with their bodily functions. This is so much more pleasurable for me, to come into a situation in which each of us have assigned spots."
Arriemoller: "No problem, I have been waiting for this moment for years and years and years, so I am glad that you finally came and allowed me to test to make sure that everything works as planned."
Criminal: "o.k."
Criminal then stands in designated spot as requested by Arriemoller, and Arriemoller presses a "secret" button, but does not tell Criminal that he is going to push it. Criminal then falls through a trap door and is empaled by 256 swords.
Criminal in his last living breaths: " you tricked me Arriemoller, you fucker. This robbery was not supposed to end like this."
"256 swords" do you have any idea how expensive a sword is? I would just use those iron thingys you use to reinforce concrete.
O.k. That is a fair enough concern.
Hopefully you sharpen up those iron thingies sufficiently in order that they adequately pierce the corpus of criminal to make him(or her) a corpse.
Some of these modern day cyber criminals are young, skinny and light and might be really malnourished, like less than 80 pounds. Think about Vitalik, for example, so you don't want the criminal to bounce off of your piercing metals. or to slip between the spaces.